THERAPY · INDIVIDUALS
Compulsive Sexual Behaviours
If your sexual behaviour feels out of control — if you’ve tried to stop or change and found you couldn’t, if it’s affecting your relationships, your work or how you feel about yourself; you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. This is a recognised area of difficulty, and it’s one that responds well to the right kind of support.
I work with people navigating compulsive sexual behaviours from a place of genuine clinical expertise and zero judgment (about the behaviours themselves, about your sexuality, or about your relationship structure). Whatever has brought you here, it can be talked about openly.
“The shame that surrounds compulsive sexual behaviour is often heavier than the behaviour itself. Therapy is a space where both can start to be put down.”
What are compulsive sexual behaviours?
Compulsive sexual behaviours (sometimes called out of control sexual behaviour, or OCSB) refers to patterns of sexual thought or behaviour that feel difficult or impossible to manage, and that cause distress or disruption to your life. This might mean spending significant time on sexual activity or pornography, engaging in sexual behaviour that conflicts with your own values, or finding that attempts to change the behaviour haven’t worked.
You may have come across the term ‘sex addiction’. It’s widely used, but it isn’t a clinical diagnosis, and the addiction framework, with its roots in abstinence and moral language, isn’t one I work from. Compulsive sexual behaviour is better understood as a pattern that has developed for reasons; often rooted in stress, trauma, anxiety, neurodivergence or unmet emotional needs. Those can be understood and often addressed and changed with the right support.
Compulsive sexual behaviour is not a moral failing. It doesn’t say something fundamental about your character or your worth as a person. It is a pattern of behaviour that developed. Often we can see this genuinely shift in therapy, when the context which created the pattern is understood.
CSB can affect anyone regardless of gender, sexuality, relationship structure or the specific behaviours involved.
One of the most consistent features of compulsive sexual behaviour is the shame and secrecy that surrounds it. Many people live with this for years, sometimes decades, before reaching out for support. If that’s where you are, it matters that you know: the shame is not evidence of how bad things are. It’s evidence of how long you’ve been carrying this alone. That can change.
What I can help with
• Pornography use that feels out of control or compulsive
• Repetitive infidelity or secret sexual behaviour
• Compulsive use of sex workers
• Compulsive cruising or anonymous sexual encounters
• Sexual behaviour as a response to trauma, stress or emotional pain
• Escalating sexual behaviour that conflicts with personal values
• Difficulty stopping or reducing sexual behaviour despite wanting to
• The impact of CSB on relationships and trust
• Shame, guilt and self-worth in relation to sexual behaviour
• CSB alongside neurodivergence, anxiety or depression
• CSB within the context of kink or non-monogamous relationships
- Pornography use that feels out of control or compulsive
- Repetitive infidelity or secret sexual behaviour
- Compulsive use of sex workers
- Compulsive cruising or anonymous sexual encounters
- Sexual behaviour as a response to trauma, stress or emotional pain
- Escalating sexual behaviour that conflicts with personal values
- Difficulty stopping or reducing sexual behaviour despite wanting to
- The impact of CSB on relationships and trust
- Shame, guilt and self-worth in relation to sexual behaviour
- CSB alongside neurodivergence, anxiety or depression
- CSB within the context of kink or non-monogamous relationships
*This list is not exhaustive, if you are struggling with something you don’t see mentioned but think we might be a good fit, please do get in touch.
My approach
My practice is always non-pathologising. I’m not approaching your sexual behaviour as something inherently wrong or disordered. Instead I’m interested in understanding the function it serves, the context in which it developed, and what you’d actually like to be different.
A significant part of early therapy is making sense of the pattern; when it happens, what precedes it, what it provides, and what it costs. CSB rarely exists in isolation. It often connects to earlier experiences, to emotional regulation, to neurodivergent nervous systems, or to unmet needs that have found a sexual outlet. Understanding those connections is what makes lasting change possible.
Therapy is pluralistic, which means the approach is shaped by what’s most useful for you specifically. This might involve exploring the roots of the behaviour, developing alternative ways of managing the needs it serves, working through shame and self-worth, repairing relational damage where that’s relevant, or simply building a clearer, more compassionate understanding of yourself and your sexuality.
The goal of therapy is not abstinence unless that is specifically what you want. For many people, the goal is a different relationship with their sexuality, one that feels more within their control, more aligned with their values, and less driven by shame or compulsion. Your goals may be different, and that’s okay too.
Throughout this work, there is no judgment about your sexual behaviour itself. The concern is not what you’re doing, it’s whether it’s causing you distress and whether you’d like something to be different.
What to expect
1
Free initial consultation
A 20-minute phone or video call with no obligation. A chance to talk through what’s happening, ask any questions, and get a sense of whether working together feels right.
2
Assessment session
A fuller first session to understand your history, what’s bringing you to therapy now, and what you’d like to be different. Confidential, non-judgmental and led entirely by what feels manageable to share.
3
Ongoing sessions
Regular sessions, usually weekly or fortnightly. The pace and direction are led by you. There is no fixed endpoint; we review regularly and work for as long as it’s useful.
4
Review and ending
We build in regular reviews to reflect on progress. When the time comes to end, we do so thoughtfully and intentionally.
BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION
A 20-minute initial call — free, no obligation and no pressure. Simply a conversation to see whether this feels like the right fit.
FEES
Initial consultation
Individual session
Couples/polycule
Session length
Free
£70
£90
60 mins
FEES
Initial consultation – FREE
Individual session – £70
Couples/polycule – £90
Session length – 60 mins
Availability
• Currently accepting new clients
• Online — UK-wide & international
• In person — Staffordshire
• Weekly or fortnightly
Ready to take the first step?
Getting in touch is often the hardest part. A free 20-minute consultation costs nothing and commits you to nothing — it’s simply a conversation to see whether working together might help.